Psychology of Good and Bad “Game,” and Its Consequences

Psychology of Good and Bad “Game,” and Its Consequences

Yes, it might be a generalisation, but guys just don’t get fashion – they don’t get midi skirts plus they undoubtedly don’t get jumpsuits. Of course, you’re free to wear these mass trends to your heart’s content but on a first date, you want your individual personality to shine through. Not next-to-nothing If you’ve secured a date with your object of desire, it’s a pretty safe bet that he already finds you attractive. With this in mind, remember that less is more and that there’s a big change between subtly revealing and downright having an excessive amount of skin on show. Leave a little to the imagination and think about what your outfit says about you – don’t feel the need to tip to the other end of the frumpy scale but just remember the old classic balancing act: legs or décolletage, never both. Not overdressed…or underdressed! This can be a tricky one. If you know where you’re going for your date then you’re already one step ahead of the game – look up the restaurant’s internet site, browse the predicted weather, any information you can get your hands on.bongacams,ciom

This will all help you in your quest for an appropriate outfit.  That cocktail dress might be a knockout, but you don’t want to be awkwardly overdressed in a sea of contempo-casuals. Nonetheless, it works both ways because you don’t want to look like you’ve rolled straight out of bed – it doesn’t look mysteriously aloof, it looks like you don’t care. Not pain for gain It’s the classic Bridget Jones dilemma: tight and painful but looking amazing or casual and comfortable although not so hot? Find a happy medium! On your first date, the last thing you wish to be worrying about is your outfit. If you’re going to be sitting down lot, don’t wear jeans that dig in or a skirt that rides up. And don’t wear shoes you can’t walk in! This isn’t just limited to heels, even flats can draw blood – so be sure to road test your chosen footwear before the big day. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Date Ideas, Dates & Details, Dating & Relationships, Fashion, For Women, Tips & Advice Tagged in: advice, Dating, Fashion, tips Long distance relationships carry a bad rep for multiple reasons: the longing, the pain of being apart, the effort, the tests of trust and bonds, the investment, and fundamentally the lack of all physical, existential discussion. Ever thought of long-distance being purely beneficial though?

Ever thought it being Better than an in-distance relationship? It’s possible and probable. There’s a loophole if you discover it. Here’s how to see it: There’s a formula to distance. Speed and time are direct factors of distance whereas time and speed are inversely related. In other words, if you increase distance, automatically, your sense of time with a loved one is completely different. Unfortunately, you can’t easily tamper with distance… F**k with all the speed though or f**k with the time, and you’ll get somewhere. In the prism of your love life, the loophole to long-distance dating is taking advantage of the other factors. Let me explain- Speed The rate of which your relationship escalates matters. If your relationship had 8 years of foundation of being within the same city, then a year apart could spark it up. It would loosen your long-term and stiffly safe relationship. On the other hand, if you met him while you were a summer exchange student and your chemistry was off the charts, it could nevertheless be the best thing.

Distance would “slow” down the passion and let a fundamental friendship grow. Time WHEN you opt to go long distance matters. I’m at time of life where life is hectic as h*ll. That might be job responsibilities, grad school, family obligations, and other deeply personal life goals. If you both have a lot on your plate at the same time, a long distance relationship could just be the type of low-maintenance relationship you both need now. Think about it: less calls, less dates, less texts, less face-to-face relationship. Less obligation, less urgency. Instead, you have more space to do you so that when you do reunite, you dedicate your full attention to that person. Your relationship is more Staccato and Legato, instead of traditional Crescendo and Decrescendo. Distance it is possible to control the time you choose to take on a long distance relationship (time) and you can also choose who you take action with (speed). But usually, you sure as heck can’t control distance. Unless of course there is a jet sweetly tucked in your garage, distance is nothing.

Keep a Relationship Thrilling and Exciting

But, if not, yes. It’s hard- whether you’re 2 hours away by car, 2 hours away by flight, or 2000 miles away from each other. But there’s so much more beauty to it than it is possible to imagine.

There WILL be desire, automatically, always. There WILL be variety and spontaneity. It is possible to travel and venture out of your comfort zone and experience things both as a couple so when individuals. I think, also, all that extra effort that certain has to take to plan, to invest, and commit to meet someone far away already conveys a ton. Even if the relationship doesn’t take a serious tone, you still have a travel buddy you possibly can make unforgettable memories with. Like in-distance relationships, long-distance relationships have the same spectrum of diversity. Whether it’s a closed or open relationship, whether you are romantic lovers, innocent friends, or “lay-overs,” whether it’s serious or casual, long-distance brings the relationship onto a completely different exploratory plane. Long-distance doesn’t need to have the whole dreariness of longing for someone; it can be light-hearted.

It can strengthen you. It can brighten you. A light heart that’s having fun, unbound by miles and boundaries. That’s open yet purposeful. And a relationship like that travels far. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook8Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Online Dating, Self Tagged in: #long distance, #relationship #love #passion #ideas If you’re single you then know what it’s like to go home to an empty bed. We, at the Urban Dater, understand that all too well. Sometimes you need a little sumpin’ sumpin’.

What the fuck am I getting at anyway? I’ll get to the point, kids. You might or may not know that we take on advertisers on the Urban Dater and we field a lot of questions from potential advertisers who are a little trigger shy… I get trigger shy too, y’all. That’s why I’m going to offer  Advertisers 20% off on their first month of advertising on the Urban Dater. Try it, like it or cannot, get in and get out without an unsatisfying itchy sensation afterward. You win, we win because we got into bed together. =) See what I did there? We sell our ad inventory through BuySellAds. So head on over to see what’s available. And when making your purchase be sure to use KNOCKINBOOTS2013 discount code during checkout. I hope it’s as good for you as it was for me. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Advert, Asides Admittedly, when I was younger, I used to say that I got “friend-zoned” a lot. Nonetheless, let’s recap and consult the Urban Dictionary and what they define as the “friend zone.” Courtesy of the Urban Dictionary This is how I would “explain away” my romantic “failings.” A few of my male friends always remarked at how I ended up getting “friend-zoned” by women I was interested in. Yes, I had a habit, or a knack, for pursuing women who, basically, just weren’t that in to me. Dating isn’t a game where you put something in, with the hopes of getting something out. I might stay these women who “friend-zoned” me in hopes that they would “come to their senses.” I realized that this was stupid and misguided. I’m not sure when it was that I realized I had it wrong the whole time and that I was a whole fucking asshole. Spending a lot of money on some one doesn’t mean that they owe you anything. Don’t go into a date thinking that spending something is equal to getting something out of it. Also, avoid being a cheap bastard. “What kind of contradictory booger-eating bullshit is that?” I hear you asking. If you’re a decent person, you’ll place in the effort, dress-up and pick out an excellent, interesting, spot to satisfy your date. It’s called effort, because it takes time to plan; research to find a good spot your date will feel comfortable at, and it will take some money to pay for the date. I will say that, even in 2015, men are expected to pay for the date still. I think this is bullshit, personally. I think it’s reasonable to go “halfsies.” I also think it’s reasonable to ask for help. It’s not un-gentlemanly to do so, I think.

Fuck gender norms! Nonetheless, until the day comes where society backs off that men shall pay for the first date, you’re going to have to pony up that cash. Just remember, just because you pay for the date it doesn’t entitle you to anything more. You’ve entered the friend zone. Now what? Listen up, brochachos and brochachas! If you are into someone; when you have serious feelings for them, guess what? That’s not a friendship. That person IS NOT your fucking friend! That person is an object, an object of your desire. I know, that’s a hard truth to swallow. While you may not be the progressive-minded type that objectifies people, I’m sorry to tell you this but you’re objectifying that person you’ve been “friend-zoned” by.

My First Date Rules

you’ll never be a true friend to that person anymore than that person can be a true friend to you. Whether you want it or not you will always desire something from them; they will continuously disappoint you because they don’t pay you the attention you crave; they don’t allow you to a priority in their life and, frankly, they don’t think about you when you’re not around. Ouch! Harsh truths are coming left and right here, peeps! If you are that person that’s getting friend-zoned and you haven’t made your feelings known, it’s your fucking fault. When you have feelings, speak up! You might risk a friendship, but you’ll grow out of it. If you lose a “friendship” it’s not the worst thing in the world.

Trust me. Be strong. It wasn’t until I had really owned up to my feelings and began telling women how I felt that things started to turn-around for me. What I mean is that I started to feel less anxious because I was putting my feelings on the market. In just about every situation with a woman who “friend-zoned” me I lost that friendship. Yes, it was hard and at the time it sucked. I felt shitty, rejection is hard. Nonetheless, this begun to clear my life up from distractions and left me free to date more and meet other women who have been actually into me. Crazy, right? The friend zone is a fucking myth. It’s a thing we make up to simply help us cope with our feelings of anxiety and is a tool to simply help us avoid rejection and from having to have the hard conversation.

The notion of the  friend zone enables the culture of kindness for favors. It’s not fucking healthy! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Featured, Online Dating You have finally mustered up the courage, time and the finances to head out on a vacation with your loved one. Naturally, you aren’t a pro at pulling such vacations off, which explains why you certainly can do with as many tips as you possibly can.Knowing the kind of help you need, here we look at some of the tips you should follow while on a vacation with your significant other. Choose a Destination You Both LikeThe first step to the whole process is to choose a destination that you’re both comfortable with. Usually do not go for a destination you want and the other person hates.

Check the Destination for ArrangementsYou would want a good blend of natural and man-made beauty, which explains why you should check the destination prior to deciding upon it. Avoid Any Misunderstandings through PlanningPlanning is perhaps the most important area of the whole process. It is possible to enjoy a good vacation with your loved one if you ace the planning process. Plan all the dynamics including the budget, the itinerary and everything else in detail to avoid confusion later on. Know Your BudgetKnowing your budget is important. Also recognize whether your lower income partner is comfortable with the type of plan you have. Only proceed with all the plan if you are sure they are comfortable. Set a Daily BudgetTo further avoid any confusion, have a daily budget made to assist you during your travels. This budget can help you avoid any conflicts or discussions dedicated to the topic money. CompromiseThe relationship and the vacation cannot go ahead without compromise from both of your end. Compromise on certain aspects if mutual pleasure lies somewhere else!

Try New StuffBe open to testing out new stuff. Just don’t ridicule or cancel out stuff because you aren’t sure how to proceed with it. Some stuff might stupid up front, but fascinating once you actually do not delay – try it. Think Twice About CampingIf you aren’t fans of camping, you should avoid going for a camping excursion for your first trip. Camping requires being up close for an extensive period of time. So, be careful before going for one. Spend Some Time TogetherSpend some time together before heading for a vacation. You would want to be sure of their likes and dislikes before you go on to spend a fourteen days together. Pack CarefullyMake a list of all items that you will need during the trip.

Make sure that you tick all items that are within the bag off the list. Only proceed forward if everything was ticked off the list. Have InsuranceHave the right insurance with you for your first trip. A normal foreign health insurance will perfectly cover a vacation that is not as much as 6 weeks long. Usually do not Demand a Major ChangeDo not demand a major change in the way your partner behaves. Don’t ask them to change their sleeping hours, or function as way you would want them to be. Try to make compromises, and keep things simple. Plan Time on Your OwnNow this might come across as an extreme measure to you right now, but it is extremely important in the long run. You need to plan some time on your own as well, and stray safe from overwhelming each other during the vacation. Do Activities Together With Other CouplesDon’t just confine yourself to each other, but go outside and do things with other people. Go through different groups on Facebook to see if there are fun activities happening around the place you are in. Do Not Drink HeavilyPractice caution while you’re on your vacation for the first time, and don’t drink heavily. Make sure that you remain sober throughout, as drinking can lead to undue expenses within the budget.

you don’t want to further inflate the budget. Eat Healthy FoodWherever you go to, you will get to be able to try new cuisines and different food products. Make an effort to have healthy meals that it is possible to trust. Do try new things, but don’t go for anything overwhelming. Do Sports TogetherTry doing a sports activity like yoga or running together. You can also go for a swim to the nearest beach or a pool to catch up on some physical exercise. You can also learn a completely new sport, based on the interests around the area you’re in. Mention EverythingDiscuss everything in grave detail, making sure you aren’t missing out on anything. It is best to sort of different subjects, instead of having disputes about them later on. Know Your RolesHave your different roles identified during the trip. Know who speaks the local language; that has to drive around town; and who relates to the guide. Plan for Road TripHave proper navigation options with you. While a road trip isn’t really recommended for your first trip, but if you are planning one, make sure that you have the music, navigation and everything else lined up. Guys Feel Hungry More OftenMen tend to feel hungry more often than women. Couples that have gone on vacations together note how men happen to be hungrier more often.

You should plan consequently. Decide on Venues for EatingMutually decide on the food you will have beforehand. Don’t keep room for last-minute fights, as you have better stuff to do. Have these important details discussed and sorted out beforehand. Sick? Let Them Take Care of YouYou’re sick on your first vacation? Well, the worst you certainly can do is always to refuse any offer of help from them. This will probably make your partner feel weird and even accountable for your condition. Enable the other person to take care of you, and look after them when they feel sick. Always Up for PicturesYou seriously shouldn’t stop taking pictures on the vacation. Take as many pictures as possible and store them for memories down the lane. RelaxUse the trip to relax your mind. Drift away from any arguments or whatsoever. Relax and have fun, because this is what you are on a vacation for. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook6Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Tips & Advice Tagged in: couple, Dating, Travel exactly what do You Do to Save the Day Date: four stunning words, one enormous fight. Where to go? When to meet? What to do? Stop. Take a deep breath and repeat this mantra: daytime dating shouldn’t be painful, it should be enjoyable. You can easily transform a trivial meeting with a person of your interest in to a unique and extremely romantic pastime format. And here’s how you can do that. Nighttime Vs. Daytime: that is the most effective for a Date The short answer is: either option is going to do. As long as you know what time will suit you and your date best, success will be in your pocket. For example, if you’re about to have your very first date, choose daytime – you’ll at least be able to see someone in the peculiar fashion style details, and no artificial illumination will be necessary. But if you’re a vampire that adores nocturnal activities and can’t imagine their life without darkness, nighttime is the best variant for giving that special ambiance to the evening. You can even mix these up, sequentially going out both during the night time and the day time.

Either way, the choice is your. Remember: it doesn’t matter when, but how you spend that quality time. By the way, you know what else makes each date unforgettable? Confidence. So don’t forget to be the ultimate catalyst of your own movie and try to impress your date with effective going-out solutions I am about to reveal right now. Your skill Together When It’s Daytime The options extend to Mars here, and so do your chances to win the heart of your date over once you embark on the right activity. Well, I mean the optimal one, because the meaning of “right” depends on preferences and tastes in this context. What if your date is fine with sitting on the asphalt and eating crackers? If your dating ideas are scarce, here’s a shortlist of steps you can take before sunset: Go on a picnic. Grab that fancy picnic basket, stuff it with all kinds of delicious treats (don’t forget about champagne), and enjoy the sun rays kissing the face as you eat and chat effortlessly in the park. Chances are, not only sun will make you happy with a tender kiss. Try a classic lunch date. Well, the process of consuming food follows us everywhere.

But that’s fine! Eating out with your date is a perfect occasion to know each other better, and hopefully discover some cream on your date’s cheek so you can lick it and ignite sexual drive.Visit a gym. If you’re both into sports, you’ll find out that cardio is wonderful for your hearts, and also for staring at each other as you become all sweaty and hot. Rent a bike.

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